Geode Cakes and Insecurity

Cannot believe I haven’t taken a moment to sit down and write.

I’ve been at my new job for about four months now and for the most part I’m digging it. I won’t lie,  there’s a part of me that misses making cakes and cookies for a living but I still talk about food all day. I don’t miss the hours, I don’t miss the pay, I don’t miss the stress. I talk to chefs all day long; any time I think I might miss the culinary industry I get a call from a frantic chef that needed more buttermilk yesterday. There’s a part of me that feels for them. I remember the feeling that everything would fall apart if I didn’t have absolutely everything that I needed for the production list that day, I remember the challenge of being told to ” make it work”. There’s another part of me that hangs up the phone and says, “its food not heart surgery.”

Apparently I have a high pulse.

I’m nearing my 30th birthday,  while I dabbling in adulting I saw my doctor and it turns out my pulse is elevated. My doctor asked me why I’m so stressed, the weird thing is that I’m not. I’m not nearly as stressed as I used to be, as a result I’ve stopped working out. Becca and I used to go to the gym to work out all our frustrations with work (we worked at three different bakeries together), and now that I don’t have those frustrations I’m finding it difficult to push myself to go to the gym.

Finally getting back to cake decorating.

I finally tried that Geode cake that I wante to make.

geode

I have a habit of cutting corners when it comes to making things for myself, I’m terribly impatient, and as a result I’m often unhappy with the way project turn out if they are solely for myself.  This cake was the first cake project in a long time where I took my time and tried my best to remind myself that even though this isn’t for a customer I should make it look the way I want.

I’ve been getting into some other hobbies recently, I’ve reach a point in my life where if I want to do something I just do it. I spent so much of my life wishing I could wear certain things, wishing I could do my makeup a certain way and I told myself I couldn’t. I recently asked myself, “why? Why in the world can’t you?” This is the attitude that I’m applying to cake decorating as well. It’s why I finally got off my tush and tried to make this geode cake. I’ve mentioned before I used to be a lot better at decorating cakes before someone took the time to make me realize that I didn’t know how.   Trying to unlearn that insecurity is going to take some time but I have three different desserts I’m making this week and I think that will help.

I get to make a cheesecake, a cake just for fun and engagment cupcakes. I’m ridiculously excitied for the cupcakes. I’m making engagment cupcakes for the friend that caught the boquet from my wedding! This wonderful woman is marrying the love of her life, and wants me to make cupcakes to help them celebrate their love. What’s even better is that the crowd doesn’t shy away from fun flavors so I’m getting to make fresh curd fillings as well. Cannot wait ❤